Dr Dez does Dan Sprinklers

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Labouring of Dr Dez!!

We arrived at the hospital at 7.00 am Monday morning to start the induction process. The first thing that happened was that they hooked me up to monitors to see how the baby was doing. Naturally the baby was doing fine.


After being examined internally (an unbelievably cruel experience), the midwife inserted Cervadil behind my cervix. This was to be left in place for 12 hours to chemically initiate labour by bringing on contractions. Although 12 hours seems a very long time, I was told that it was necessary for first time mothers so that your body doesn't go through the whole labour process too quickly. Once inserted, I was allowed to walk around to let gravity and nature take its course but needed to be checked out after the first 6 hours to see how things were progressing. By 1.00 pm I started to feel some pains and when examined and monitored again, everything with the baby was ok but my contractions were a little too close together so they gave me some Ventolin to slow them down. However, by 5.00 pm I was in far more pain and could hardly walk. My contractions were 2 mins apart but the rest of my body had not responded by going into labour. Bed rest and panadine became my best friend.

At 8.00 pm that evening, the Cervadil was removed. Following another gruelling internal examination it was decided that my waters should be broken manually to further initiate labour. To do this they use something that looks like a long crochet hook - I am sure you can imagine this so I won't draw a picture. Having your waters broken is a very unpleasent experience. Aside from the physical discomfort endured while they are performing this procedure, the feel of the warm watery fluid gushing out and pooling underneath you is quite disgusting.

A few hours later they put me on drip of Syntocinin to ripen my cervix as my cervix had not begun to dilate. One hour later it had dilated to just 1 cm. Luckily the midwives also offered me the opportunity to have an epidural since my contractions were still quite painful and it would allow me to rest and get some sleep while my cervix was dilating. I gladly took them up on this offer - a must have for all induced labours. With an epidural they make you numb from the waist down, and this means that they need to insert a cathter into your urethra so that you don't wee yourself - another charming experience.


Around 9.00 am Tuesday morning my cervix was fully dilated (10 cm). I was informed that I could start to push with my contractions in order to get the baby out. How do you know how to push when you've never had a baby before? Well, when your contraction starts you just try to hold your breath for 10 secs and push like your really constipated and are trying to do a big poo, and you do this 3 to 4 times for the duration of the contraction - the whole process is very exhausting. Once you have started pushing with your contractions your body gets into a rhythm and each time you get this overwhelming desire to push down there - and the desire gets stronger and stronger as you get closer towards the end.

When you go to your ante-natal classes you find out all these weird and wonderful remedies for pain relief like rocking and having a hot shower, as well as a number of positions you can try whilst you are trying to push the baby out. However, when you have an epidural you are completely bed ridden and pretty much need to have the baby whilst laying on your back and knees up in the air - a great experience for anyone in the delivery room. This is probably the only downside of the epidural as the pain relief is fantastic. At least until it starts to wear off, which is necessary so that you have more control over your pushing.

Well, whilst I was pushing my husband counted during my contractions and the two midwives on either side of the bed allowed me to push against them with my legs (very necessary for leverage). However, after 2 hours (the time in which babies are usually born) not much progress was made with getting the baby out, although I had been told that my pushing technique was excellent. The big guns were called in (the obstetricians) to see what the problem was. An ultrasound revealed that the baby was stuck in the birth canal and that its head was around the wrong way which meant that the baby was facing upwards instead of looking downwards. Also this meant that the smallest part of the head was not presented for delivery. Mind you the baby was still fine through all of this. One of the obstetricians decided that it might be possible to manually rotate the baby and then deliver the baby using forceps. The obstetrician did manage to rotate the baby around the right way. My epidural was topped up and the apparatus for a forceps delivery was attached to my vagina. They also performed an episiotomy which is where they cut your perioneum (the bit between your vagina and bum hole) to prevent tearing that usually occurs with a forceps delivery.

Finally they told me to give one big mega push with my next contraction. I pushed as hard as I could and they manged to drag out the baby's head with the forceps. At that time they realised that the baby had rotated back around to its original positioning, causing me to tear quite a bit as they pulled it out. This was later described to me as 3rd degree tearing and after the birth it took about an hour and a half to stitch me up. They even had to take me into theatre so that they could get right in there. Now I have a new bum hole and what I like to call "a designer vagina".

With one more push the rest of the baby's body came out and it was all over - thank bloody goodness!!!!


Our little baby girl was born on Tuesday, 22nd August, 2006 at 2.22 pm. She weighed 3.785 kg (8 lb 5 1/2 oz old school) and was 49.5 cm long. After a long and painful process Mum, Dad and Grandma couldn't be happier!!!

25 Comments:

At 6:41 PM, Blogger pip said...

Thankyou for that detailed and enlightening account of the birth Dez. Cute photo at the end though. I'm glad you didn't have a camera during the pushing and stitching phases.

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger Clodagh said...

A designer vagina - I'm so jealous! Here's hoping the sex is awesome when everything is back to normal down there!

 
At 8:18 PM, Anonymous David said...

Thanks Dr Dez, Your extremely detailed account of the birth made me appreciate how lucky I am to be a guy.

 
At 12:54 AM, Anonymous dr dez said...

Thought you would all appreciate my account of the birth - think of it the next time when you go to have sex - it may be useful as a contraception. As for me no sex for at least 6 weeks - doctor's orders. I am sorry that there weren't more photos but Dan didn't want to venture near the business end until the head popped out and my mum was standing way way back.

 
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