Dr Dez does Dan Sprinklers

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Labouring of Dr Dez!!

We arrived at the hospital at 7.00 am Monday morning to start the induction process. The first thing that happened was that they hooked me up to monitors to see how the baby was doing. Naturally the baby was doing fine.

After being examined internally (an unbelievably cruel experience), the midwife inserted Cervadil behind my cervix. This was to be left in place for 12 hours to chemically initiate labour by bringing on contractions. Although 12 hours seems a very long time, I was told that it was necessary for first time mothers so that your body doesn't go through the whole labour process too quickly. Once inserted, I was allowed to walk around to let gravity and nature take its course but needed to be checked out after the first 6 hours to see how things were progressing. By 1.00 pm I started to feel some pains and when examined and monitored again, everything with the baby was ok but my contractions were a little too close together so they gave me some Ventolin to slow them down. However, by 5.00 pm I was in far more pain and could hardly walk. My contractions were 2 mins apart but the rest of my body had not responded by going into labour. Bed rest and panadine became my best friend.

At 8.00 pm that evening, the Cervadil was removed. Following another gruelling internal examination it was decided that my waters should be broken manually to further initiate labour. To do this they use something that looks like a long crochet hook - I am sure you can imagine this so I won't draw a picture. Having your waters broken is a very unpleasent experience. Aside from the physical discomfort endured while they are performing this procedure, the feel of the warm watery fluid gushing out and pooling underneath you is quite disgusting.

A few hours later they put me on drip of Syntocinin to ripen my cervix as my cervix had not begun to dilate. One hour later it had dilated to just 1 cm. Luckily the midwives also offered me the opportunity to have an epidural since my contractions were still quite painful and it would allow me to rest and get some sleep while my cervix was dilating. I gladly took them up on this offer - a must have for all induced labours. With an epidural they make you numb from the waist down, and this means that they need to insert a cathter into your urethra so that you don't wee yourself - another charming experience.

Around 9.00 am Tuesday morning my cervix was fully dilated (10 cm). I was informed that I could start to push with my contractions in order to get the baby out. How do you know how to push when you've never had a baby before? Well, when your contraction starts you just try to hold your breath for 10 secs and push like your really constipated and are trying to do a big poo, and you do this 3 to 4 times for the duration of the contraction - the whole process is very exhausting. Once you have started pushing with your contractions your body gets into a rhythm and each time you get this overwhelming desire to push down there - and the desire gets stronger and stronger as you get closer towards the end.

When you go to your ante-natal classes you find out all these weird and wonderful remedies for pain relief like rocking and having a hot shower, as well as a number of positions you can try whilst you are trying to push the baby out. However, when you have an epidural you are completely bed ridden and pretty much need to have the baby whilst laying on your back and knees up in the air - a great experience for anyone in the delivery room. This is probably the only downside of the epidural as the pain relief is fantastic. At least until it starts to wear off, which is necessary so that you have more control over your pushing.

Well, whilst I was pushing my husband counted during my contractions and the two midwives on either side of the bed allowed me to push against them with my legs (very necessary for leverage). However, after 2 hours (the time in which babies are usually born) not much progress was made with getting the baby out, although I had been told that my pushing technique was excellent. The big guns were called in (the obstetricians) to see what the problem was. An ultrasound revealed that the baby was stuck in the birth canal and that its head was around the wrong way which meant that the baby was facing upwards instead of looking downwards. Also this meant that the smallest part of the head was not presented for delivery. Mind you the baby was still fine through all of this. One of the obstetricians decided that it might be possible to manually rotate the baby and then deliver the baby using forceps. The obstetrician did manage to rotate the baby around the right way. My epidural was topped up and the apparatus for a forceps delivery was attached to my vagina. They also performed an episiotomy which is where they cut your perioneum (the bit between your vagina and bum hole) to prevent tearing that usually occurs with a forceps delivery.

Finally they told me to give one big mega push with my next contraction. I pushed as hard as I could and they manged to drag out the baby's head with the forceps. At that time they realised that the baby had rotated back around to its original positioning, causing me to tear quite a bit as they pulled it out. This was later described to me as 3rd degree tearing and after the birth it took about an hour and a half to stitch me up. They even had to take me into theatre so that they could get right in there. Now I have a new bum hole and what I like to call "a designer vagina".

With one more push the rest of the baby's body came out and it was all over - thank bloody goodness!!!!

Our little baby girl was born on Tuesday, 22nd August, 2006 at 2.22 pm. She weighed 3.785 kg (8 lb 5 1/2 oz old school) and was 49.5 cm long. After a long and painful process Mum, Dad and Grandma couldn't be happier!!!


At 6:41 PM, Blogger pip said...

Thankyou for that detailed and enlightening account of the birth Dez. Cute photo at the end though. I'm glad you didn't have a camera during the pushing and stitching phases.

At 6:49 PM, Blogger Clodagh said...

A designer vagina - I'm so jealous! Here's hoping the sex is awesome when everything is back to normal down there!

At 8:18 PM, Anonymous David said...

Thanks Dr Dez, Your extremely detailed account of the birth made me appreciate how lucky I am to be a guy.

At 12:54 AM, Anonymous dr dez said...

Thought you would all appreciate my account of the birth - think of it the next time when you go to have sex - it may be useful as a contraception. As for me no sex for at least 6 weeks - doctor's orders. I am sorry that there weren't more photos but Dan didn't want to venture near the business end until the head popped out and my mum was standing way way back.

At 3:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best Regards.

At 7:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello all!
Best Regards.

At 12:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice site!
Best Regards.

At 5:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are best!
Best Regards.

At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice site!
Best wishes.

At 4:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello all!
Thanks all.

At 3:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 5:05 AM, Blogger Monica said...

High! Yes, this is right, I agree.
If you're looking for these drugs to buy online - they are available from here:
http://myviagra.sbn.bz/ - viagra
http://soma.sbn.bz/ - soma
http://mytramadol.sbn.bz/ - tramadol
http://public.bestwebsearch.name/ - anything else

P.S.[to this site's admin]:
If you think this post is spam - delete it please
Have a nice day!

At 8:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 8:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi people,this is a simple test
sorry sex video

At 6:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi all!Nice day

At 6:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi all!Nice day
order viagra
[url=http://www.costnet.com/_stock/000005c8.htm]order viagra[/url]
buy viagra
[url=http://department.monm.edu/uptildawn/forum/0000210a.htm]buy viagra[/url]
viagra online
[url=http://unixfp.iglou.com/yamin/_2005YAConfdisc/00002ad2.htm]viagra online[/url]

At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 2:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

free xxx sex video
free porn video trailer
free hot porn video
free adult video
baby gay kiss lil video wayne
porn psp video
xxx rated video

At 2:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

free xxx sex video
free porn video trailer
free hot porn video
free adult video
baby gay kiss lil video wayne
porn psp video
xxx rated video

At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

massage nude video
raven riley hardcore video

At 7:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://porneskimo-com-kofit.blogspot.com/]Ebony Pornstar Ayana Angel Sucking And Screwing On Camera[/url]
[url=http://camcrush-com-lober.blogspot.com/]Busty Eva Angelina Fucked Hard[/url]
[url=http://tugjobs-com-xotob.blogspot.com/]Blonde Busty Mature Mom Discovers Anal[/url]
[url=http://projectvoyeur-com-sezoc.blogspot.com/]Cellmate Lick Adorable Ass[/url]
[url=http://camcrush-com-lober.blogspot.com/]Brunette Lesbians Action Pussy Licking[/url]
[url=http://taylorbow-com-zopew.blogspot.com/]Huge Facial Cumshot After Chick Gets First Anal Fuck[/url]
[url=http://digitalmpegs-com-boges.blogspot.com/]This Amateur Hottie Is Really Amazing[/url]


At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://amateur-sex.hereandnow0.com/]American Stud Strokes His Cock[/url]
[url=http://xbyzkngo-teensite.blogspot.com/]Sexy Amateur Teen Babe Kelly Gets Her Tight Throat Pounded Hard[/url]
[url=http://hguldxxe-teensite.blogspot.com/]Gay Asian Twink Masturbates On The Beach[/url]
[url=http://smnvapnd-teensite.blogspot.com/]Two Hitchhiker Girls Want To Try Some Anal Riding[/url]
[url=http://vtrxzzwj-teensite.blogspot.com/]Busty Pornstar Eva Angelina Getting Nailed Hard On The Couch[/url]
[url=http://amateur-sex.hereandnow0.com/]Mature Asian Black Lingerie[/url]
[url=http://onuzmvau-teensite.blogspot.com/]Cock Hungry Brunette Tranny In Very Hard Anal Fucking Action[/url]

[url=http://hguldxxe-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/pregnant-teen.html]pregnant teen[/url]
[url=http://xbyzkngo-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/party-teen.html]party teen[/url]
[url=http://pjryskur-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/job-summer-teen.html]job summer teen[/url]
[url=http://hguldxxe-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/redhead-teen.html]redhead teen[/url]
[url=http://xbyzkngo-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/big-teen-tit.html]big teen tit[/url]
[url=http://smnvapnd-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/bedding-teen.html]bedding teen[/url]
[url=http://pjryskur-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/teen-virgin.html]teen virgin[/url]
[url=http://vtrxzzwj-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/quote-teen.html]quote teen[/url]
[url=http://pjryskur-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/poem-teen.html]poem teen[/url]
[url=http://hguldxxe-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/pink-pussy.html]pink pussy[/url]
[url=http://jzllteva-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/bopper-club-teeny.html]bopper club teeny[/url]
[url=http://fzdlcfzh-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/slut-teen.html]slut teen[/url]
[url=http://vtrxzzwj-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/quote-teen.html]quote teen[/url]
[url=http://bbndsxtg-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/sex-teen-young.html]sex teen young[/url]
[url=http://xbyzkngo-teensite.blogspot.com/2007/03/teen-tight.html]teen tight[/url]

At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://kvjwtzbt-p-stars.blogspot.com/]Long Haired Black Amateur With Big Chocolate Nipples[/url]
[url=http://hfgahmlm-p-stars.blogspot.com/]Amateur Ebony Honey Shows Her Large Hooters[/url]
[url=http://barely-legal.blotrer.com/]Bizarre Housewife Shows Her Ass And Extreme Messy Anal Squirting[/url]
[url=http://fsktsrmf-p-stars.blogspot.com/]Hot Body Asian Japanese Model Getting Her Pussy Pounded[/url]
[url=http://tulywwsd-p-stars.blogspot.com/]Best brunette tits pics and vids[/url]
[url=http://yvyhhncb-p-stars.blogspot.com/]An Ethnic Amateur Girl Sucking On Two Juicy Cocks[/url]
[url=http://kvjwtzbt-p-stars.blogspot.com/]Asian Pussy Oozes Hot Creampie[/url]

[url=http://agktmcht-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/christie-lee.html]Christie Lee[/url]
[url=http://egawztzy-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/janet-joy.html]Janet Joy[/url]
[url=http://ozetnwto-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/katrina-kraven.html]Katrina Kraven[/url]
[url=http://pbctybpc-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/elizabeth-lawrence.html]Elizabeth Lawrence[/url]
[url=http://xdqgyjux-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/janet-alfano.html]Janet Alfano[/url]
[url=http://hfgahmlm-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/ana-paula.html]Ana Paula[/url]
[url=http://fmvkgxtl-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/dana-vespoli.html]Dana Vespoli[/url]
[url=http://fsktsrmf-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/nautica-thorn.html]Nautica Thorn[/url]
[url=http://ovtciofj-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/cris-taliana.html]Cris Taliana[/url]
[url=http://yvyhhncb-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/kinzie-jo.html]Kinzie Jo[/url]
[url=http://kvjwtzbt-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/haley-scott.html]Haley Scott[/url]
[url=http://yvyhhncb-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/lexi-love.html]Lexi Love[/url]
[url=http://kvjwtzbt-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/haley-scott.html]Haley Scott[/url]
[url=http://jylqyxeg-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/sophie-dee.html]Sophie Dee[/url]
[url=http://yvyhhncb-p-stars.blogspot.com/2007/03/alexa-may.html]Alexa May[/url]

At 2:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://zuj-atkmodels-com.blogspot.com/]Gorgeous Asian Fat Girl Rammed Hard[/url]
[url=http://wuq-celebrityscandal-com.blogspot.com/]Angelina Swallows Cum[/url]
[url=http://jop-bravogirls-com.blogspot.com/]Busty Black Amateur Eaten By Girlfriend[/url]
[url=http://cev-18to19-com.blogspot.com/]Adorable Babe Getting Pussy Drilled[/url]
[url=http://vuf-finalteens-com.blogspot.com/]All American Slut[/url]
[url=http://jiw-africanvagina-com.blogspot.com/]Two Shemale Friends In Steamy Hardcore Action[/url]
[url=http://pip-toons-fuck-com.blogspot.com/]Busty Babe Asian Pornstar Bamboo Blowjob And Analsex Cumshot[/url]
[url=http://pun-cliphunter-com.blogspot.com/]Latina Wants Americans[/url]
[url=http://rug-30moms-com.blogspot.com/]Chubby Ebony Babe Gets Fucked And An Internal Anal Cumshot[/url]
[url=http://wic-barefootmaniacs-com.blogspot.com/]Blonde Busty Mature Mom Discovers Anal[/url]

[url=http://cew-babesglamour-com.blogspot.com/]babesglamour.com[/url] [url=http://wow-call-kelly-com.blogspot.com/]call-kelly[/url] [url=http://wep-fuckingmachines-com.blogspot.com/]fuckingmachines.com[/url] [url=http://nox-fishmpegs-com.blogspot.com/]fishmpegs.com[/url] [url=http://vuc-bunnyteens-com.blogspot.com/]bunnyteens.com[/url] [url=http://top-bignaturals-com.blogspot.com/]bignaturals[/url] [url=http://sex-clipgalaxy-com.blogspot.com/]clipgalaxy.com[/url] [url=http://vok-agcw-com.blogspot.com/]agcw[/url] [url=http://wow-call-kelly-com.blogspot.com/]call-kelly.com[/url] [url=http://xeq-easypic-com.blogspot.com/]easypic[/url] [url=http://tiq-akissbetweenthelegs-com.blogspot.com/]akissbetweenthelegs.com[/url] [url=http://luv-cindymovies-com.blogspot.com/]cindymovies[/url] [url=http://kuh-fathut-com.blogspot.com
/]fathut[/url] [url=http://lol-5up-net.blogspot.com/]5up[/url] [url=http://ceq-assparade-com.blogspot.com/]assparade.com[/url] [url=http://veh-8thstreetlatinas-com.blogspot.com/]8thstreetlatinas.com[/url] [url=http://bec-freexmovies-com.blogspot.com/]freexmovies[/url] [url=http://fed-babeshunter-com.blogspot.com/]babeshunter[/url] [url=http://lic-fhwl-com.blogspot.com/]fhwl.com[/url] [url=http://bof-bootycollection-com.blogspot.com/]bootycollection.com[/url]

At 1:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, landed on your blog, nice stuff. I found a cool new tool for our blogs... www.widgetmate.com It helps get latest news for our keywords directly on to our blog. I added it on mine. Worked like a charm.


Post a Comment

<< Home